Mother-Daughter Relationships

There is no heart like that of a mother

Cleaning around the house recently I found notes from a Mother Daughter retreat my daughter and I led in 2006. This description of a relationship hit home with me once again. I hope you are touched by it as much as I was reading it.

 

The mother-daughter relationship is at the headwaters of every woman’s health. Our bodies and our beliefs about them were formed in the soil of our mother’s emotions, beliefs an behaviors. Even before birth, our mother provides us with our first experience of nurturing. She is our first and most powerful female role mode. It is from her that we learn what it is to be a woman and care for our bodies.

Our bodies and those of our daughters were created by a seamless web or nature and nurture, by God. Every daughter contains her mother and all the women who came before her. To become optimally healthy and happy, each of us must get clear about the way in which our mother’s history both influenced and continues to inform our state of health, our beliefs and how we live our lives.

No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does. There is no love as pure, unconditional, and strong as a mother’s love. A daughter’s need for her mother is biologic, and it continues throughout her life. Not only was our mother’s body the source of life for us but it was her face that we looked to, to see how we were doing. By gazing into our mother’s eyes and experiencing her response to us, we learned crucial first lessons about our own worth.

The love of a mother…

Finding Peace

How do we balance this crazy world we live in? With the faith that we have in the Lord!

A Picture of Peace Lily (credit: Wikipedia)

When little children are killed randomly and violently?
When good people tragically and unexpectedly die?
When loved ones battle illness, depression and loneliness?
When a soldier fighting for freedom doesn’t come home?

Faith. It’s the only thing that holds me up. St. Paul tells us “The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that

surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

These words and many scripture passages help me keep in balance. It is the only thing that can. When our nation mourns the tragic loss of children in Newtown, Connecticut, we seek answers. There are no answers, there can only be questions. But we also

must realize our questions may not be answered.

I have heard news reporters say “it’s gonna take a long time to heal our wounds.” And it should. We lost children filled with potential, dreams, hopes and love. We should never heal. This nation has a hole in its hearts, for every child lost, for every soldier lost, for every parent lost, for every lost soul. We need to gather and hold each other through it. We need to soften the raw edges of the hole, but it can never be filled with anything but the love of Christ.

The preciousness of life was cracked once again.
The school did everything right procedurally and still great sadness entered the world.
May we find peace in Christ, who is Peace. Because the peace of God surpasses all understanding and will guard our nation’s heart.

It’s a beautiful day..

It’s a beautiful day…

Today’s a new day, a fresh start to a life anew. Each of us have this opportunity every day. We are given a new day to use it as we see fit. Will we do something worth while or waste it way? Don’t throw this new beginning into the wind. Embrace it as a gift and open it slowly.

Allow the world to wrap its arms around you and leave pieces of peace throughout your day. When you open yourself to positive energy flowing within you, love and happiness spreads to everyone around.

You are in control of how you share the day with others, so,

1.    Be kind. You may not know what the person you meet is dealing with. They need a kind word or smile. It will make a difference in their life.

2.    Build relationships. A true relationship takes time, patience, effort and compromise. Whether a friendship or intimate relationship, treating each other with respect is essential.

3.    Stretch yourself and grow.  Never fear what stretching may do to you, you will always grow from new experiences. The potential is unlimited in what you can achieve.

4.    Be grateful. Grateful for what you have and what you don’t have. There is a reason you do not have everything. Life is about graces that are given us, when we truly appreciate them we are filled with more. If you are grateful for the blessing you will always be happy.

5.    Show appreciation every day – do a daily examen at night. Look at your day and tell a loved one what you appreciated from your day.

6.    Leave a path of goodness behind you – in each situation presented to you throughout your day, try to leave a good thought, good deed or good feeling behind as you leave.

7.    Be open to new opportunities – change allows us to grow

8.    Love yourself – know that you are a loving, caring child of God and accept yourself for who you are and who God is allowing you to become.
So as U2 sings so beautifully…

It’s a beautiful day…don’t let it get away…it’s a beautiful day…

Hold my hand

holding hands – age 10, and age 8 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

IntimacyI remember someone asking my husband and I during the first few years of our marriage what is Intimacy? The definition we both first conjured up in our minds was mostly physical. But as we matured and grew, our understanding of intimacy grew also. Our relationship has grown throughout our 27 years of marriage. Like most couples we began with a physical attraction that grows into a deep love that was never imagined when the “I do’s” were exchanged.

We have raised babies, bought homes, owned a business together. We have survived arguments, financial challenges, unemployment, loss of our fathers, and much more in our years together.

We have learned to communicate

We have learned to listen

We have learned when to hold each other

We have learned to just “be” with each other

My children think we are too affectionate towards each other, because we truly enjoy each others company (and like to kiss and hold hands). But when you get either of them alone, they admit they like the fact that their parents are still attracted to each other and still are in love with each other. My expressive Italian husband is very passionate about life. When he laughs, its genuine and heartfelt. When he enjoys a good meal, he soaks it all in, from the smells to the presentation to the taste. He is passionate about his family – giving, kind and loving. Passionate is the word I would use to describe him.

He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me.

I love the way he holds my hand in his, I feel so safe, so loved.  I can spend all day just hand in hand with him.

I pray every person could experience the trueness of love from someone else. I know there is a lot of hardship in the world, but sometime we just need someone to reach out and hold our hand. Recently, I received some hard news, and the person who explained everything to me, sat next to me and held my hand. I remember looking at her hands and thinking, it’s exactly what I needed, I needed human touch as I was told this. Then I prayed for all the people who live days, weeks, months and even longer without human touch, without the intimacy of someone knowing them and being present for them. I felt sad, but not for me, for all those without another presence in their life.

My life is blessed in so many ways. I will survive my hardship no matter how thin the rope I’m hanging on to becomes…because I have a loving family always ready below to catch me and carry me until I can walk upright again.

As a youth minister, I have helped many people through churches, retreats and worktours. But when this caregiver held my hand, I realized the importance of always, continually, without ceasing, reaching out to touch others.

May your day open your eyes to the opportunities to hold the hand of another and know the true meaning of intimacy.

Pride and Humility

Pride – one of the seven deadly sins.

But wait – I am so full of pride as I watch my children become wonderful, productive, gracious members of society. Both college graduates and filled with optimistic views of the world.
So is it wrong to be proud, since pride is a deadly sin?
Being proud of others can help you to have humility in yourself so I know in my heart it’s not a deadly sin to be proud of others.
What’s more important is our actions to the things we are proud of. Do I move throughout the day talking aimlessly about how wonderful my children are? NO! Do I burst into a room to announce a new achievement they have done? NO!
Do I share good news humbly with those that know and love my children, YES!
Humility is a virtue – it’s the virtue opposite of pride.

I am humbled that the Lord has blessed me with two amazing children. I am proud of who they have become.
I am humbled with all that my family has been given and am proud of how we treat others in Christ.
I am humbled by His grace flowing through all we do and am proud to be a witness of the Good News.

So what are the Seven Deadly Sins and their opposing Heavenly Virtue?
Pride                     Humility
Lust                       Chastity
Gluttony              Temperance
Greed                    Charity
Sloth                     Diligence
Wrath                   Forgiveness
Envy                     Kindness

Take your temperature…where do you lean in your daily walk?

Do you live in an area that is over-indulgent and vain about “keeping up with the neighbors”? Do your children have iPads and cell phones in grade school? Is that what is expected and the norm? Is there really a need? Are we just adding to the stress levels children already feel with their groups of friends – the right clothes to wear…the right technology at hand…the right activity programs…the right group of friends. WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

Children can become who God wants them to be if we break down the societal barriers and free ourselves to BE ourselves!
Our children will not remember that Mom was always dressed to the “T”s or we always had the best of everything on our street – they WILL REMEMBER that their parents were in love and treated others with respect and gave freely to those in need and they spent time with them and they will feel LOVE.

Life is not about looking good (by who’s standard) or being the most involved in the neighborhood. It’s about being humble, showing kindness, being charitable, leading a pure life, resisting the temptation of the love of money, forgiving others and LOVING ALL!

Let’s go reach back into our FAITH and balance our life with the Heavenly Virtues – lead by example – LOVE!