Posts Tagged With: Attitude

Mother-Daughter Relationships

There is no heart like that of a mother

Cleaning around the house recently I found notes from a Mother Daughter retreat my daughter and I led in 2006. This description of a relationship hit home with me once again. I hope you are touched by it as much as I was reading it.

 

The mother-daughter relationship is at the headwaters of every woman’s health. Our bodies and our beliefs about them were formed in the soil of our mother’s emotions, beliefs an behaviors. Even before birth, our mother provides us with our first experience of nurturing. She is our first and most powerful female role mode. It is from her that we learn what it is to be a woman and care for our bodies.

Our bodies and those of our daughters were created by a seamless web or nature and nurture, by God. Every daughter contains her mother and all the women who came before her. To become optimally healthy and happy, each of us must get clear about the way in which our mother’s history both influenced and continues to inform our state of health, our beliefs and how we live our lives.

No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does. There is no love as pure, unconditional, and strong as a mother’s love. A daughter’s need for her mother is biologic, and it continues throughout her life. Not only was our mother’s body the source of life for us but it was her face that we looked to, to see how we were doing. By gazing into our mother’s eyes and experiencing her response to us, we learned crucial first lessons about our own worth.

The love of a mother…

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When

When the time comes to chase your dreams,
and it will, they may seem elusive;
but know you won’t catch them all at once.
Just one challenge at a time.

When success comes,
and it will, don’t gobble it up
savor and share it and it will last.

When love comes,
and it will, don’t bury it in expectations and projections
be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.

When the unexpected and inconceivable intrudes on life,
and it will, deal with life’s actual events –
don’t obsess about perceived eventualities.

Relax and enjoy the ride.

Michael J. Fox, actor and activist

When life happens to you, do you see the sun or the night? Do you look to what can be positive and bright or do you huddle in the darkness waiting to be saved?

Well you are saved. You are strong! You can move forward.

When life throws rocks at you, raise your arm and crush them into fine gravel for your journey.

Sometimes we have addictions, anxieties, illnesses, challenges, and disappointments in our lives – but they are a small part of our life if we look for the sunshine!

When we expect goodness, light and love, we are forever surprised at what is then handed us. Sometime we have an uphill battle to climb. Sometimes we lose a parent or fail a test or get terrible news at the doctors. I try to always remember  that there are others that are experiencing much more heartache and despair than what I am experiencing. I focus on the good in my life. I focus on how to help others. I focus on clarity. I focus on opportunities to reach out instead of curling up.

When there is gray clouds, fill them in with bright yellow!

The ride is so much brighter in the sun!
I am looking forward to the day I am strong enough physically to climb behind my husband on his Harley and drive off to Relax and Enjoy the Ride!

Categories: Balance, Explore, Gratefulness | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A drive or a journey…

So what do you call your travel to and from work each day? Commute…Travel…Drive…Madness…Stressful?

I use to consider mine a “commute”. I’d drive ten minutes out of my way to catch the expressway for the 36 minute drive in. It was easy, I could put the cruise on 70 and coast to work, saying the morning prayers along the way. It became routine, humdrum, monotonous, tedious…boring. I was looking at concrete and watching mile markers tick away.

Then came January 1st.  In Illinois that meant the tollways almost doubled and I vowed to put my money in my tank and not in the tollways system.

So onto the direct route. Stop and go for 160 blocks. But I was determined to make the best of it and what I discovered surprised me!

I did not want to handle the madness on LaGrange Road filled with busy shopping centers and towns, so I opted for Wolf Road and Willow Springs Road. I know what you are thinking…that way is single lane all the way!

But what I discovered was sheer peace.
First – it only took me on average 5 minutes longer (fewer miles but slower traffic)
Second – the traffic was not as bad as i thought and I liked that I wasn’t having to drive 70 to keep up with traffic

But most importantly is what I noticed.

Driving through Mokena’s quaintness each morning. Flags in front yard, stopping guards and children, churches welcoming signs, flowers beginning to bloom. The slower pace was a welcome addition to my morning.

My prayers were less rushed because I was less rushed. I took time with the Lord and was much more thankful for situations around me.

In the 160 block, I pass eight churches! I love being reminded of the importance of God in my life every few blocks.

Then after a short pass through the outskirts of Orland, I head into the Cook County Forest Preserves and the beauty of peace begins.

Traveling for miles and miles of nothing but lakes, trees, forest…green surrounding me, engulfing tree branches over the road, God’s design for our pleasure. Ducks lazily floating in the water, bikers and jogger enjoying the paths of nature, the warmth of the sun filtering between the trees into my sunroof, the deers grazing by the golf course.

I notice the greatness around me.
I bask in the beauty of creation as I reflect on my day.
I pray for those in need and my family’s needs.
I begin each day in peace.

My drive has been transformed from a commute to a journey, my thoughts are filled with positive energy and love. I never am bothered with a slow driver, because it just means I get to see something I might not have seen otherwise.

May you experience a beautiful, creative palette of splendour as you drive to work…and may it forever wonderfully affect your attitude!

Categories: Balance, Create, God | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Kind…Smart…Important

You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.

Aibileen may have been just the lowly black servant of the house, but she forever positively influenced the lives of the children’s ears she whispered those words into.
I watched “The Help” and then read the book recently. A wonderful story with touching characters and harsh realities of our world.

Aibileen was treated as unimportant, but she made sure the children in her care felt elevated.
Aibileens kindness and intelligence went unnoticed because of her skin color, but she was one of the most perceptive and giving characters in the story.
She saw the prejudice around her and the prejudice directed at her, but she rose above it and lived in truth.

Prejudice still exists today. Sometimes it not the color of the skin, but the address of their home or the intelligence of their being. Hate comes masked in all different forms. Evil comes masked behind pretentious smiles just as often as hatred is visually noticeable in others body language.

We need love, we need acceptance, we need purpose.
We need to be told we are kind, smart and important. People do not realize we feel that way unless we tell them. Can you imagine if every child was told each day how important they are to the world around them…what a world this would be…just stop and imagine…now help that become a reality!

Those three little sentences in a movie about so many life lessons may have been the most profound for me.

Do we tell those around us how important they are to us? Do we reach out in kindness to others? Life brings us many challenges, depression can come so easily if we feel that we have no purpose. The funny thing is, you may never know how one small act can impact another. Consider Mark and Bill…a true story…

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy’s name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. They arrived at Bill’s home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.

Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. “Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?” asked Bill. “You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn’t want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mothers sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more, you saved my life.”

-John W. Schlatter

You may have read or heard of a similar story on the internet about Kyle, but that story exploded from this simple one. But this story is not simple, it was important to Bill. It is a story that needs to be shared.

You can make a difference too!
You can be a Mark to someone else and turn a simple momentary act into life altering action!
You can be Aibileen and build up someone’s confidence by using only the power of your words!

How will you be Kind, Smart and Important to someone else today?

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Creation

This morning you set forth a series of events that will affect so many other lives. Did you know the power you have to create that affect?

Every decision made throughout our day effects someone else, and usually more than one person.

When we made a decision, we create a reality that will be played out. We create circumstances that create reactions and feeling within those around us. And that effects the next decision we will make. We have the amazing ability which was divinely given to us in which we use our energy and imagination to create. Have you ever thought of each decision as power? Do you realize what the outcome will be for you? for others? Do you know that each of your decisions will trickle to people everywhere, because those around you are altered and then their decision affect others and so on. What power and responsibility we how within us.

It’s impossible to think every single decision we can consciously consider this, but we can be aware of the decisions we make should be supportive, honest and kind.

In the simplest way, begin by stopping and thinking, before I say that.. Is it truthful? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

This would stop so much of the harmful creative decisions we make. This would stop the office gossip and the bathroom buzz.

Let everything that we create with our speech and our actions, be beautiful and everything around us will become brighter.

 

Categories: Balance, Create | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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